When you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy and thinking about adoption, talking to your baby’s father can feel overwhelming – especially if he doesn’t agree with your decision. Even if you believe adoption is the best path for you and your baby, he may have a different perspective. It’s natural to wonder, “Can I choose adoption without the father’s consent?”

At Tapestry Adoption, we know this is a deeply personal and emotional situation, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. If you’re facing challenges with the baby’s father, your Adoption Coordinator can guide you through what your options look like and connect you with legal help if needed.

Call or Text: 317-529-7322
Email: [email protected]
Visit: www.tapestry-adoption.com

Starting the Conversation with Your Baby’s Father

Once you’ve made the decision that adoption is the best option, the next step may be talking to your baby’s father. This can be a sensitive conversation, so it helps to prepare ahead of time.

Try writing out what you want to say and even practice with someone you trust—like your Adoption Coordinator or a supportive friend. Then, when you’re ready, talk with him calmly and explain why you feel adoption is the right path.

Make sure to share:

• Why adoption feels like the best choice for your situation
• The possibilities that open, modern adoption offers both of you
• What steps he would need to take to provide consent

Gina, a birth mom, shared:

“I was nervous to tell my boyfriend about my adoption plan. He was being pressured by his family to stop it, but once I explained that we could choose the adoptive family together and still have a relationship with our baby, he started to understand.”

Why Might He Be Unsure About Adoption?

Unplanned pregnancies can be just as overwhelming for fathers. Sometimes, their reactions are based on fear, misinformation, or pressure from others. It helps to try and understand his point of view:

Is he suggesting abortion instead?
He might think abortion is the easiest option without realizing how permanent and emotional that choice can be.

Does he feel pressured to “step up”?
Some fathers feel it’s their responsibility to provide, but adoption can be a brave and loving way to ensure the baby has everything they need.

Is he getting input from family or friends?
While loved ones often mean well, only the two of you know whether you’re truly ready to be parents.

Does he understand open adoption today?
Many people don’t know that adoption doesn’t mean goodbye forever. He might feel more at peace if he learns what open adoption actually involves.

What Are the Father’s Rights in Adoption?

Legally, fathers have rights too. That’s why it’s important to have open, honest communication as early as possible. If he doesn’t agree with your adoption plan, he’ll need to take certain steps:

• Establish paternity (either by acknowledgment or paternity test)
• File for custody if he wants to parent
• Provide financial support, including during your pregnancy

If he doesn’t take these steps or fails to support you, depending on your state’s laws, it may still be possible to move forward with adoption. Our team can connect you with an experienced adoption attorney to discuss your unique situation.

What If You Can’t Find Him?

If you’re asking, “Can I place my baby for adoption if I can’t find the father?”—the answer is: yes.  In the state of Indiana,  you are not forced to disclose the birth father, however a Putative Father Search will be done.  But you’ll need to show that you’ve made every effort to locate him. If he’s truly unreachable, or if he’s unfit to parent, you may still be able to choose adoption.

What If He’s Unfit to Parent?

In some cases, the court may determine that the father is not a safe or stable parent. That might include situations where he:

• Is abusive or violent
• Has a history of drug use or criminal behavior
• Doesn’t have stable housing or employment

Every case is different, so it’s important to speak with an attorney about your circumstances. Your Tapestry Adoption Coordinator can help connect you with legal guidance in your state.

When He Just Won’t Agree

Sometimes, even after honest conversations and giving him time, the baby’s father still won’t support your adoption plan. That’s okay—you’re not alone.

He may just need time to process the news. You can invite him to talk with your Adoption Coordinator, attend a meeting, or even help choose the adoptive family. Once he understands that open adoption can include ongoing contact, he may begin to see adoption as an act of love—not abandonment.

In fact, many birth fathers have ongoing relationships with their children through open adoption, even if they’re not with the birth mom anymore.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Working through differences with your baby’s father takes courage, and it’s okay if it feels hard. At Tapestry Adoption, we’ll walk with you through each step and provide you with the support and resources you need to make the best decision for you and your baby.

Call or Text: 317-529-7322
Email: [email protected]
Visit: www.tapestry-adoption.com