Talking about adoption is hard. It is one thing to decide that the best option for your baby may be adoption, but another to believe that the emotions you are experiencing are normal. At Tapestry Adoption, we walk alongside Expectant Moms every day who are weighing this choice. There are countless reasons why a woman might consider placing her baby for adoption. There is no single story or stereotype, despite what you may have seen in movies or heard from others.

Even when you know you’re making the best decision you can for your child, many Expectant Moms feel a deep sense of shame or stigma about adoption. These feelings are common – and they are normal. But it’s important to understand where they come from and why society still places such heavy judgment on mothers who choose adoption.

Why Shame and Stigma Still Surround Adoption

Unfortunately, adoption has historically been shrouded in secrecy and judgment. For decades, women were told to keep their decisions quiet, as though adoption was something to hide. That legacy has left scars. Today, while adoption is more openly discussed, shame and stigma often remain:

• Cultural Expectations of Motherhood: Society often sends the message that a “good mother” should raise her child at any cost, even if she lacks support or stability. This unrealistic standard can make Expectant Moms feel like adoption equals failure.
• Family and Community Pressure: In some cultures or families, adoption is strongly discouraged. Women may face criticism, rejection, or even estrangement for making this choice.
• Fear of Judgment: Many Expectant Moms worry about how others will view them-coworkers, future partners, or even strangers. They fear being labeled as someone who “gave up” their child, instead of someone who made a loving, intentional decision.

At Tapestry Adoption, we believe it’s time to change that narrative. Adoption is not abandonment-it is an act of love and sacrifice. The shame you may feel does not belong to you. It belongs to a culture that still misunderstands adoption.

For more information on birth mother support and navigating stigma, visit the Child Welfare Information Gateway.

Feelings of Shame Come in Many Forms

For many, shame feels like personal failure. It can sound like:

• “I must not be strong enough to raise my child.”
• “If I loved my baby more, I would make it work.”

But the truth is, women who don’t care about their children don’t wrestle with these questions. Choosing adoption is not a failure-it is a profound form of maternal sacrifice. Every mother sacrifices for her child; for some, that sacrifice happens in the very beginning through adoption.

Shame also grows louder through the voices of others. Friends and family members often project their own opinions onto your decision. While wise counsel is valuable, at the end of the day, you are the one who must live with the realities of raising a child-or making an adoption plan. This decision is yours, and yours alone.

Learn more about how Tapestry Adoption supports expectant mothers through counseling and mentorship.

Questions That Fuel Shame

Every Expectant Mom considering adoption wrestles with difficult questions:

• What will my coworkers think?
• Will dating look different for me in the future?
• How do I tell people about my choice?
• What if someone rejects me because I am a Birth Mother?

These worries are heavy, but you are not alone. Countless women before you have asked the same questions and found strength on the other side. The key is remembering that your adoption decision has to be rooted in conviction—because when you know it’s truly your choice, it becomes easier to stand firm against others’ opinions.

For guidance on overcoming fear and judgment, visit Adoption.com’s Birth Mother Resources.

You Don’t Have to Carry Shame Forever

Feelings of shame don’t have to define your journey. What matters most is that, years from now, you can lay your head on your pillow and say: “I did the best I could for my child.”

At Tapestry Adoption, we are here to support you through that process. Our adoption counselors provide guidance, emotional support, and mentorship so you never feel like you’re walking this path alone. You deserve a safe, judgment-free space to explore your options, process your emotions, and make the decision that is right for you and your baby.

For more details on our counseling services, visit Tapestry Adoption Counseling.

Final Thought

Shame and stigma may still surround adoption in society—but they do not have to surround you. You are worthy of compassion, respect, and understanding. And no matter what you decide, Tapestry Adoption will be here to walk with you every step of the way.

Tapestry Adoption
Serving Expectant Moms across the U.S.
Mail: [email protected]
Call: 317-529-7322
Website: www.Tapestry-adoption.com