Adoption is often described as a beautiful picture of hope and belonging — and it is. But it is also complex. Every adoption involves both gain and loss: the gain of a loving family, but also the loss of a child’s first attachment to their birth parents, and sometimes cultural and genealogical ties.

For adoptive families, understanding this complexity without slipping into extremes is essential. Trauma-Informed Parenting provides a balanced framework: it acknowledges that loss and early adversity may leave lasting marks, but it also affirms that adoption is not the root cause of every difficulty an adopted child may face.

Why Trauma-Informed Parenting?

Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) is one of the most well-researched approaches to trauma-informed parenting. Developed at Texas Christian University by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Dr. David Cross, TBRI is based on three core principles:

– Empowering Principles: Meeting a child’s physical needs through predictable routines, nutrition, and sensory awareness.
– Connecting Principles: Building attachment and trust through consistent, nurturing connection.
– Correcting Principles: Guiding children with empathy and gentle structure instead of harsh discipline.

Unlike traditional parenting models that may emphasize control, trauma-informed strategies recognize that a child’s brain and nervous system may have been shaped by stress, neglect, or separation. Adopting parents who use TBRI learn to see behavior as communication, not defiance.

Learn more about TBRI at Fostering Hope

Adoption ≠ the Cause of “All Things Negative”

narrative — sometimes popularized online — ignores decades of research and pathologizes adopted children unfairly.

In fact, adopted children often thrive:

– A 2007 National Survey of Adoptive Parents (NSAP) found that over 83% of adopted children described themselves as “happy with their lives.” Adoptive families also reported higher rates of reading to their children, involvement in extracurriculars, and positive family interactions.

– Read more about these findings at AdoptHelp

– Additional reviews highlight resilience and positive outcomes over time. See CAFO research

The Real Challenges: Separation, Identity, and Loss

While adoption itself is not a cause of damage, it’s important to acknowledge the intrinsic trauma present in every adoption story. Common themes include:

– Separation Trauma: Even if a child is adopted as an infant, the primal bond with a birth mother is interrupted.
– Identity and Belonging: Adoptees may wrestle with questions about their heritage, cultural roots, or “who they are.”
– Loss of Culture: In cases of transracial or international adoption, children may need intentional support in understanding and valuing their birth culture.

Learn more about identity struggles like Genealogical Bewilderment

Practical TBRI-Driven Parenting Tools

For adoptive families, trauma-informed parenting is less about fixing problems and more about creating a safe, healing environment. Practical strategies include:

1. Predictable Routines – Stability reassures a child that their world is safe.
2. Empathy Before Correction – A meltdown may signal fear, hunger, or overstimulation.
3. Co-Regulation – Instead of isolating a child when upset, stay close and offer calm presence.
4. Open Conversations About Adoption – Encourage dialogue about adoption, birth parents, and heritage.
5. Support Birth Family Connection (When Healthy) – Open adoption, when safe, allows children to integrate their birth story and adoptive life.

See more data from American Adoptions

Also review Open Adoption Statistics

Indiana Resources for Trauma-Informed Parenting

• Creason Counseling (Fishers, IN)

• Counseling at The Green House (Indianapolis, IN)

• Megan Stroup (Noblesville, IN)

Internal Resources from Tapestry Adoption

• Tapestry Adoption Services

• How Adoption Works

• Open vs. Closed Adoption Options

In Summary

– Research shows most adopted children thrive — with over 83% reporting life satisfaction.
– Adoption is not the cause of every challenge, but separation and identity questions are real.
– TBRI and trauma-informed parenting provide evidence-based tools for nurturing healing.
– Support exists in Indiana and beyond, from specialized therapists to adoption-competent resources.

Trauma-informed parenting is not about labeling children as broken. It’s about equipping families with tools to meet their children where they are, honoring both the loss and the joy of adoption, and creating an environment where children can thrive.